We woke up to a beautiful frost giving everything a sparkly shimmer. It is lovely to have the time to just notice and appreciate things like this at the moment.
Gavin was working from home today so it was 3 of us for #PEwithJoe. I think it might have broken him a little bit!
It wasn’t a very productive day, I was worrying all day about what the announcement at 5pm would bring. There had been big announcements for businesses last week with huge payouts available to help companies keep hold of their staff when they weren’t making any money. But we needed help for the self employed.
It was a great package, they announced millions of pounds of funding, but I don’t think it will help me and it isn’t available until June. I had a very emotional couple of hours thinking about if I can keep my businesses going through this. If I lose my Leeds Castle wages (they still haven’t said what they are going to do and could just lay us all off) then I will probably have to find a teaching job and then would I be able to run my businesses. I doubt I’d have the time of the energy.
So a large glass of wine was needed and lots of tears were shed. There are so many caveats in the self employment help I really don’t think I will qualify.
We went for a walk after dinner, and seeing the beautiful sunset sky helped calm me. I know there are lots of people worse off than us, but I’ve worked to hard to build these businesses up it is heartbreaking to see them dwindle into nothing through no fault of my own.
