I wanted to name this post – Why your wife needs a hug right now, but realsied that my readers are probably mostly female, so that would be pretty wasted. But maybe you could just send this to your other half and get the message across that way, or share it on Facebook or Twitter and tag them in it, that will really do the job!
So, what’s the big deal? Everyone gets stressed in December. Too much to do, too little time.
But, men of the world, before you moan about how stressful it is to choose your wife the perfect present, how annoyed you are at being shouted at again or how crap it is living with such a ball of stress, stop and think about why she is being like that.
Who do you think bought all the presents that are already under the tree? Who has made sure that your children have exactly what they want for Christmas, searching the internet to get that elusive present. Who else has she bought presents for? Probably all of the family, not just her side, but yours as well. And the presents for the teachers, secret santa at work and maybe even your secretary.
I’ll let you into a secret. Father Christmas isn’t real. These presents don’t just magically appear under the tree. Someone has done all that work. And she needs a hug.
Maybe you are super wonderful husband who has helped with all of this. Well done.
It’s not just about presents though. What about all the events that are on the calendar. She’s probably organised all of those as well. Made sure that all the family are included, that the inlaws don’t feel like left out. That the kids all get to the parties that they want to go to. She probably booked that visit to Santa back in October.
And yes, we know that you offer to help and we say no, or we get cross when you don’t do it the way we wanted it done. We know we are complete control freaks and that just makes matters worse. But please don’t judge us for this. Just give us a hug.
The food. Who makes sure everyone has the food they love, that there are 3 different types of potatoes on Christmas Day? that the kids are still getting their 5 a day through most of the month, that there is enough alcohol for everyone and some spares incase you need to take a last minute present to party. Who has made the Christmas cake, baked cookies with the kids for them to decorate, searched high and low for right type of pudding to eat on the big day. She probably had it on the calendar to book the Tesco delivery slot weeks ago, and if she missed that then she’s got to go out and battle the shops after work one day instead.
The cards, who has bought, written and posted all the cards?Not just for her friends and family, but for yours as well. And sat with the children while they do theirs as well. Who as has stood for ages in the post office queue to get the sought after 2nd class stamps to avoid having to take out an extra mortgage to pay for 1st class.
You’ve probably asked her what she wants, and she has said nothing, or don’t mind. She’s not ungrateful. She probably just hasn’t got the headspace to think of anything. Or she doesn’t want to ask for what she really wants.
Because as much as we say that we are happy as long as everyone else is happy. I’m sure that’s probably not 100% true. Making sure everyone else is happy is really, really stressful. And there are a lot of people to make happy. The immediate family, kids, in laws, friends, teachers, club leaders, neighbours, colleagues. If they are all catered for this Christmas, she has worked her socks off. And that usually means at the expense of our happiness. But fancy presents aren’t the answer.
Dr Suess got it spot on. Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
Because what we really want for Christmas can’t be bought and put under the tree.
We want someone to say, thank you. Thank you for everything you do. Those Christmas presents look amazing under the tree, the kids are so lucky to have exactly what they have asked for. Thank you for organising things so everyone is happy. Thank you for still doing the washing and ironing in all of this chaos. Thank you for caring so much. Thank you.
We would like something wrapped. We’d like ourselves to be wrapped in a hug. Often, and throughout the next few weeks. Amidst the stress, chaos and excitement a spontaneous hug means more than diamonds. More than fancy chocolate. It means that you have noticed and that you care.
If you are superhubby that helps with all of these things, thank you. I’m guessing you have many friends though that aren’t as fab you so please share this far and wide. If you are a woman reading this, please feel free to tag your husband!
Spread the love this Christmas, not through fancy gifts but through gestures that mean so much more.