“In order to give zero f**ks, one must first give many”
This is a subject dear to my heart, something I personally struggle with and knowing it affects so many of my friends too meant I wanted to try and find a solution.
I picked up on a few vibes from my friend Sarah that she was battling the same demon, but unlike me, actually winning.
Turns out she had it under control, and agreed to share her experiences with us.
“”Giving zero f**ks isn’t as easy as it looks. First of all you have to hit the rock bottom of worrying and stressing in order to climb back up.
For me that was my 40th year on this planet. Combined with my oldest transitioning from elementary school to middle school and also going through puberty, this was probably the toughest year of parenting on an emotional level. I worried about everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! I was on top of her all the time, worrying about friendships, homework, grades, boyfriends, social media, plus my own worries about my appearance, weight, health, family, friends, PTA, polar bears, super volcanos, children in Syria etc etc.
It had to stop. I wasn’t sleeping at night and my days were miserable as all I did was obsess over things that were out of my control. It didn’t matter that my worries were trivial, they all became huge problems in my head.
That was when my friend Courtney and I decided to begin the year of “Zero Fox”. We would say no to drama, no to those extra jobs from the PTA on top of what we were already doing, no to the teacher who asked if we could decorate the classroom door, no to the party that we really didn’t want to go to, no to joining that committee. But it wasn’t just about saying no, it was about not giving a rat’s ass about what people thought of our decisions or what they thought about us despite our choices. You will never please all of the people all of the time, became a phrase we would remind ourselves of as we worked tirelessly planning the school fundraiser, only to have a bunch of drunken parents complain about the food or the venue or the music.
Zero fox is a careful balance. It is not giving a f**k about what people think of you or your actions, but also not being an arsehole in the process.
There are people who don’t give a f**k because they are obnoxious and ignorant and they genuinely don’t care. Then there are people who don’t give a f**k because they are done trying to please everybody, and for their own sanity they have had to draw a line. Its that kind of attitude that makes up the year of “Zero Fox”, because we are taking back our minds, our bodies, our time and doing what is best for us and those closest to us.”
Where are you on this? Do you stress too much about keeping other people happy? Are you worried about what other people think about you?
Or are you like Sarah and have this under control?
Please come over to the Facebook group to share your experiences, it is a safe space where there is no judging, just a supportive ear.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/438579613149850/
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